I have intimacy issues. I am, more times than none, emotionally unavailable. This goes for love interests, friendships, and family ties alike. I am a total receiver and an occasionally giver.
The breakthrough starts with acceptance right?
My interest in yoga and meditation developed as a quest to bring out the love I know I am capable of. When I “show up”, I’m a good friend, lover, daughter, cousin, coworker, confidant, and shoulder to cry on. Here comes the part where I don’t sound amazing. It’s exhausting. I give so much of myself and do selflessly to the point that I become exhausted in my interactions with people. As human beings we are programmed to be self absorbed. There is a motive in every conversation we seek and action we make, usually a self motivation.
As much as I give, I expect to receive. Not only that, but I expect to receive in the same capacity that I give. Here lies the problem. A lot of meditation materials will advise against attachment to people and inanimate objects, as well as, expectation. Pressure to match an expectation often leads to disappointment. Soooo right! So how do you go about dropping expectations.
The answer (for me atleast) is you don’t. Constantly being disappointed by the same set of expectations means it’s time for a reframing of the mind. This is the part where I get past my ramblings and get to the point.
There should be no cap on what you are willing to give. Rarely do we tell others, “you’re giving too much” but we often stop ourselves from giving because we think we aren’t receiving enough. Things aren’t going to come full circle that way. Maybe that person is giving all they can give and the universe will supplement what’s missing through some other source (it’s the little things, people!). Its all so simple. Give as abundantly as you receive.